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Chapter 40 : The Art of UNDERSTANDING

Listen - Read - Understand

If you listen, then read the situations and the message(s), then you'll understand on how to reply whether with silence, action, talk or doing nothing! Yes, no reaction is an answer too, if you are truly understand and aware.  For me, who is a combo of introvert and extrovert, I tend to answer with silence when thing goes too wrong. However, unfortunately, not everyone aware of the silent treatment, because  they do not want to  understand.  The art of understanding requires  you to analysis , to recall,  to observe and to decide. A simple gesture just by giving a smirk or only replying in three words are the answer that you may expected or not. 

The art of Understanding  does not mean you understand of what's happening; often you misinterprets or make your own interpretation. It all begins with the first - The Art of Listening. You have to spend time to listen, you have to be in silence to listen, and you have to put your efforts to listen. Then, once you have received the conveyed  message(s), you have to digest the messages by reading. Reading in here does not mean "read a book", literally means "reading the situation / analyzing". After you listen, you read, then it's upon you on how you would like to react after you understand. 

Admitted, we are often too lazy to listen until the end, and we  react based on how the messages we perceived without giving ourself a chance to read. If we skip one step, we may not have a good end. A lot of arguments, a lot of misunderstanding and a lot of personal conclusions   only because you  do not listen properly and do not get the right "conclusion" for the conveyed messages. 

The art of understanding is the result of both - listening and reading. The art of understanding is simply means the reaction  .  And reaction is  all about those actions we chose to make and show in an exchange that the other person may perceived as how you'd them to perceive. 

One of the examples in my daily life is when I'm being a middle person between client - employee. I'm standing in the middle that I know I have no right to choose side . The funny and truth is that "client(s) want me to choose them, knowing they are always correct" and " employee(s)" want me to defend them for their mistakes or their rights, because they have to continuously showing their full dedications towards the company".  This required an art of understanding because it's the final stage that I chose on how to respond on both sides but how can I make the right  decision if I don't  want to listen, observe and understand?  

You may don't realize how important it is to listen , but you  shall know the answer of "why" for their behavior towards you or you toward them. We are not mind-reader, but the action must have  the right and clear message(s).  We listen with our ears, We read with our mind , and we confirm our understanding through actions. 

Everything begins with the first step called "listening"👂
If you don't listen, how can you know  what's the problem? 
and if you don't know the problem , how can you understand the situation and act with solutions?

If you are tired of being mistaken, being judged, being   treated unfairly, then your message(s) are not heard by them properly . If you can't make other listen to you or you listen to the other, then how can you expect other to act?    Do not think too much about trying to understand  someone or situation. Instead, just repeat from the beginning by just giving more effort, more of open mind to listen  fully.
  

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